The season of life has been tough. I have struggled in every area of my life. I have struggled with my faith & trust in God, my relationships with others, my health, & my work & finances. All of these areas have changed thru this season of struggle to change. Change is inevitable. It’s the one thing I can count on to happen throughout life. I do not like change. I am a very routine person. I like structure & order. It helps me organize my day in order to be productive. I feel accomplished at the end of the day when my “To Do” list is completed. But, on those days when something pops up that I did not plan for it wrecks my plan for that day. I feel anxiety & stress take over me. I hold so tight to my plan. I cannot see any good in the unplanned circumstance that just randomly popped up on my to do list. It can completely unravel my day, but for the most part I get thru it.
Life changes are totally different. When my life circumstances change, my life as a whole changes. This can flip my world upside down if I don’t let go of my plan. I have gone thru some major changes this season. My 3.5 year relationship ended in January. My health took a turn for the worse. My faith had more holes in it than all golf courses in the tri-state area. I lost my main source of income, & I might have to sell my home. All of these things sound pretty bad on paper & can feel bad too, if I don’t look at them thru God’s perspective. In the beginning, I looked at these things thru my human eyes & my plan. These things didn’t fit into my plan. I cried, screamed, prayed & cried some more. Why God? Why were you letting these things happen to me? What did I do wrong? Where is the sin in my life that I am practicing or haven’t repented of? I asked God to show me the problem so I could make it right. I wanted things to stay the same. Change doesn’t always happen because I did something wrong…things just change it’s a part of life.
God has showed me that change is inevitable, but He is never changing. He is the same yesterday, today, & tomorrow. I can count on Him when my life circumstances change. He knew the change was coming. It was not a surprise to Him. James 1:17, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” He is in control of the change. And if I believe in Him, trust Him, & obey Him thru my life changes then I am safe. He also taught me that change is not bad even when it feels bad. That feeling is fear, which comes from the enemy. The enemy wants me to fear the things ahead instead of activating my faith in God by letting go of my tight gripped plan. Gods plan is the best plan. My plan is mediocre at best. Gods plan is a life journey filled with adventure & excitement. Change is scary. It’s an unknown path filled with all kinds of things that are unfamiliar. It’s not part of my routine or my plan. Therefore, I don’t want to step into this unknown area most of the time. I hold on to the things I am comfortable & familiar with. I don’t like being uncomfortable it makes me feel vulnerable both of those feelings produce fear in me. Fear of the change, but I know God & can trust Him through all these unknowns. I may not know the path ahead, but He does. When I hold onto my plan I miss out on the His best plan, blessings He wants to add to my life, & a life of abundance in Him.
Letting go this season has been hard. I have fought every single day to trust Him & trust His plan for my life. Gods word says He brings good out of all things even changes that seem bad…Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Honestly, I saw the bad at the beginning of my changes, but God has showed me His goodness thru it. He blessed me in more ways than I could ever imagine by going thru this change. He added more than He took away. He gave me more than the enemy tried to plunder (destroy & strip of its possession). He filled in my faith holes with belief, trust, joyful obedience, patience, perseverance, & most importantly His love. It has been a long 7 months or so, but I can say it was worth the struggle, tears, & pain I had to go thru in order to change. I have more faith, my relationship with God has increased in love & trust. In the past 2 days, God provided me with a new job & tuition money to go to Downline in the fall. All of this literally came out of nowhere. He’s been telling me to wait on Him, quit striving, stop moving, let go, & be still, so I would know that He is God & I am not. I waited on Him & was kept safe. I went into the unknown with my faithful Father. He provided exactly what He knew I needed & so much more than I asked, thought, or imagined. He opened up the floodgates of heaven & poured out a blessing on me until there was no more need. Some of these blessings were tangible, but so many were intangible & worth every bit of my struggle to let go & step into this season of change. Change is inevitable, but how you choose to go thru it is a choice. Are you going to choose to trust God who is in control of the change & be blessed? Or trust yourself, hold tight to your plan & miss out on the blessings God wants to add to your life?
Thank you for showing me that change can be good because You bring good out of everything. Thank you for changing me thru this struggle & helping me to see things thru Your eyes. When I hold onto my plan I am basically telling You that I know what I am doing. I got this God. Forgive me for holding tightly to my own way. You are God & I am not! Thank you for being with me every step of this season. Thank you for the blessings that cant be taken away from me. You have added so much to my faith & relationship with You. I know these things are secure in You. Thank you for blessing me with a job & money to cover Downline. I wouldn’t change anything about this season. You know it’s been hard for me the entire time. Trust & fear are my biggest issues, but You showed me how mighty, loving, gracious, merciful, & forgiving You are towards me. You have given far more to me than was taken away. You give & You take away & both are blessings…all is grace. Thank you for loving me perfectly & pouring out your grace for me to see in a different light this season. Father, I love You & I trust You! I pray these things in Jesus Christ precious name. Amen.